Jooky Fusser (toomuchpressure) wrote,
Jooky Fusser

Ladies & Gentlemen....CAPTAIN FUNK!!!!

I can but dimly recall the halcyon, turn-of the century days when things like social networking sites and cable internet were still a delightful novelty. I mention those way-back long-agos on account of i've recently reacquainted myself with a favorite online pastime: link-hopping. By which i mean you click on a friend's friend whit whom you are unfamiliar, and then you click on one of that friend's friends, and so on and so forth, just trying to see what kind of strange person, place, thing or band you can end up on.
So maybe a month ago i'm hanging out with my girlfriend, who has been befriended on myspace by some dj or another, and we decide to link hop djs. I'd like to say Captain Funk leapt out at me immediately, belting me in the jaw with an electronic fist of revelation, but if memory serves me, i think i owe my new favorite eastern sound to someone named "Ricky Snice." I just tried to track him down, but myspace music can't find any Ricky Snice, nor does it turn up a record for "Smoot Criminal," which I am 100% positive was the title Mr. Snice gave his remix of Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal." Alas Ricky Snice, we hardly knew ye. I would like to offer him posthumous thanks, however, for not only did he provide me egress into the electric wonderland of Capt. Funk, but provided me with a new turn of phrase for something exceptionally swell as well. No longer is something simply really nice, it's RICKY SNICE.

But I digress. without further ado, I give you Captain Funk," a musician who is the very definition of Ricky Snice.

Go ahead. Pop out that myspace music player. You're going to need it. Kindly click on "Hey Boy,Hey Girl (Original) by CAPTAIN FUNK OFFICIAL." Give it a minute to sink in. Let the pops of the funkiest of basslines shoot jolts of pure pleasure up your spine. Smile lazily and sink into the syntactically-broken lyrics of Meri Nesser. Hey boy, fill me with your love. Hey girl, come in from heaven above. YES! This shit is like Pizzicato Five in its heyday! No, it's better! It's P5 for the new millenium, dressed up with big, fat, lazer-bright Justice synth! Oh, and let's throw in some choppy Max Tundra beat breakdowns! Oops, the funk bass is actually on the Playmodel remix ver. 1! Who gives a shit?! Hey Boy, Hey Girl rules in all its multifaceted incarnations!

Seriously, though--all hyperbole aside, I fucking LOVE this song. There's something so achingly sweet about it, something so pure and upbeat and earnest, that occasionally i'll get misty when this song starts playing. It's like remembering the first time you took ecstasy and went out on the town, and everything felt so bright and electric and alive; this song feels like being on the cusp of your 20's and feeling like you can make any bright beautiful wonderful thing you feel like out of your life.

Well, at least, that's what it does for me.

Okay, so anyways, yeah, I heard this song and lost my shit. Step two, of course, was to see what this guy looks like, so I clicked on his photos, and was particularly struck by this set.

And i thought "aww, isn't that sweet. He's just some sweet, almost-middle-aged guy who wrote an awesome song and made himself a myspace and then tried to fill it with pictures of him looking cool in a scarf and just ended up looking awkward!" I read this next, just above his comments, confirming my imaginary image of a shy, standoffish, bedroom composing wunderkind:


If you kindly send me a friend request, PLEASE ADD WHO YOU ARE or MESSAGE (especially if your profile is set "PRIVATE" ). Even if it's not "Private",your info and message (NO PUSHING AD/PROMO words I hate) would be helpful.

To MUSICIANS, this is not your free ad space. I don't accept intrusive,too selfish posting for comments.
Thanks for your understanding."

But then I read further, dug into his about me: collaborations with SABU, Ken Ishii, Serge GAINSBOURG?! JAMES fucking BROWN?!?! Now I'm not one of those rabid j-pop fanboys, but I do like Japanese the hell did this guy slip under my radar?! I checked out his official website; This guy's a fuckin' PRO!

The lesson here, I guess, being watch those paternalistic attitudes. A little bit of white guilt was worth it, though. Captain Funk is seriously rocking my world. Here's some YouTube highlights:

Hey Boy, Hey Girl Live:

Knight of Electricity-nice hard techno jam, suitable for night driving (as evidenced by the video):

Did I mention he also DJs?

My new dream is to hit up a Captain Funk Djed party. Preferably in Japan!

So yeah. That's Captain Funk. Hope you find even a quarter of the pleasure that I have in this man.
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